Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize