Will you blow on my dice?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
