OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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