Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I currently don't understand fingers.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize