New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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