he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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