one might say we're banned from that church
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
