I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize