finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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