Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
