Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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