I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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