How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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