A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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