That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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