you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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