What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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