alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
