My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
