i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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