Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
