I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
