I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
