from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She even gives head with a lisp.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
