My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
