I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
