pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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