That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
