i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize