Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
