i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
