Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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