the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
