Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
