You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
