Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
