You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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