i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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