its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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