No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
