At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
