final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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