dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
