I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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