i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
