No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
