Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
