either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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