My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
