She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
