No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
