We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize