There was a lot of him and a little penis
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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