i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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