highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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