a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
