Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The air taste purple.
Randomize
