either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is my gift to your gina
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
