my phone needs a breathalizer
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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