She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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